Book Review - The Dark Lord of Derkholm, by Diana Wynne Jones

Better than Disneyland

Capitalism, capitalism, capitalism. If our society were to discover a gateway to an alternate universe, a universe which is very much like a typical world from high fantasy, then what would we do? Share information and technology? Embrace this miracle as a chance to learn from the new world?

In The Dark Lord of Derkholm we’ve commodified it, selling tours around the fantastical world that allow people to have their own quest. People can rampage through a world, fighting battles, defeating vampires and demons before slaying the dark lord, and saving the world.

It takes the world all year to recover properly, and then they have to do it all again.

Sounds about right, doesn’t it?

Juggling Responsibilities.

As the new dark lord, it’s wizard Derk’s job to organize the tours. Naturally, organizing a whole world gives him rather a lot to do. Wynne Jones gives herself an awful lot to do too: through the marriage of mundane logistics and fantastical surroundings, she looks to convey familial drama and intrigue. Throughout the story there’s lots of hanging plot threads, and almost always more than one thing going on at the same time.

Not only is there the lingering threat of arch-capitalist Mr Cheney, who functions as the primary antagonist of the story, there are also other dangers in the world; demons, dragons. Even a potential saboteur amongst their own ranks. There are twists and turns and agents acting behind the scenes here.

Despite all the elements that she is playing with, Wynne Jones keeps things generally very well balanced. At times there’s a little bit too much and too little at the same time – there’s no real obvious end goal being worked towards, and coupled with the slightly meandering structure of the story, this can create the sense that the story gets stuck in a rut.

Lots to do

The story is focused around Derk and his rather large family, and their relationships with each other form the emotional core of the story. Even in this Wynne Jones convincingly marries the mundane and the fantastical – three of the family members are griffins.

Despite this, Wynne Jones creates a very solid picture of a family creaking at the seams under pressure. The characters are all very Wynne Jones – there’s a certain gentleness to them, even whilst the events are less so.

Just for context

Amongst all these balancing acts, Wynne Jones’ biggest triumph is the world that she creates. In introducing all these ideas that are more modern, she successfully creates a sense of a genuine fantastical world too. She parses out elements of the world slowly, keeping back new things to be introduced later. There’s also a lingering sense of a bigger world just off the page too, that the characters are just too busy to take us to.

That she manages to maintain this sense of the fantastical amongst the mundane, and does so throughout the novel is its main strength. It’s conclusion is unfortunately rushed, and the plot drive can sag at times. A worthy read, nonetheless.

Book Review - Eye in the Sky by Big PKD

To say that Dick was ahead of his time, is to say that winter in Arctic is a tad nippy.

What would modern media, modern sci-fi, look like without his stories of paranoia and existential terror? Maybe the same - the ambiguities of modernity that fuelled his neurosis (well, that and drugs) are more present and relevant than they were when he was around. Increasingly we interact with worlds that don't exist, and the one that does is being increasingly bent around creatures like Twitter and Facebook. Nonetheless, break down most big sci-fi films or TV shows nowadays, and you'll find them filled with Dick's DNA, like zeitgeist induced bastard children.

Which is to say, it's really odd that he's such a bad writer.

Bad may be an oversimplification. No one could argue that his ideas are anything less than big and interesting. Paranoia seeps from the pages with such vigour that it's clearly coming from somewhere very genuine. Few can create such a cloying and personal sense of threat and distrust of your very senses.

Eye in the Sky is a funny book, as it doesn't even have that - certainly not to the same extent. It follows a small group of characters as they are involved in accident involving lasers, and find themselves in a world which is subtly (then not so subtly) different.

Eye in the Sky is a funny book not just because it hasn't really got Dick's strengths on full display, but because it is also stronger in a more conventional sense. The prose is better - much better in fact, whilst still being recogniseable Dick. It flows better, sets a better pace. The side characters, too, are given unique personalities and space to breath, and beyond the plot itself is intertwined with who they are as people.

The dialogue is still bad, but you can't have everything.

What makes this book so curious is the fact that despite being stronger in many ways than a lot of his other stories, it is probably one of the weaker of his that I have read. The idea is great, the characters are better than your usual Dick fare, but the complete package is somehow less. Perhaps it is because Dick is best when he's just doing what he is good at.

The ending is a problem - it does not, in any real meaningful way, relate to the story. It has an uncharacteristically happy tone, and any ambiguity that may have been implied was lost. Eye in the Sky was listed by Dick himself as one of his most important books - for myself, I'd recommend giving this one a miss.

Top 10 books I read during 2016

Best books of 2016

2016 is done, and here's the top 10 books I read in 2016!

But first, a few words on hon' mentions:

Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell

To be quite honest, this didn't actually make the shortlist, but it is still worthy of a shout-out: the idea is adventurous, the execution is excellent. Mitchell walks a fine line between creating a distinctive voice for each story whilst still making them feel like a larger overall story. Filled with ideas, humour, tragedy, action - it's a book the marries the big and the small beautifully. The writing can be a bit too on the dry side at times though.

The Vorrh by Brian Catling

This is an odd beast, well written throughout and highly idiosyncratic. The story is built around a number of real texts and characters, meaning from the off I was ill-prepared to really get the most out of the story. The ideas and atmosphere conjured by the story were excellent, but the novel felt like a bit of a meander that never really went anywhere. Set-pieces strung together without the narrative drive to properly give them weight: nonetheless, what The Vorrh does right it does brilliantly.

Half a King by Joe Abercrombie

Joe Abercrombie's first foray into YA waters was a compulsive, well-written story featuring a particularly interesting protagonist. This was the one that gave me the most indecision as to whether or not it was worthy of inclusion, so consider it an honourary number 11.

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

Atwood's famous (not sci-fi) sci-fi novel is a small and detailed depiction of a society, and the experience of a "handmaid" in the servitude of one of the society's most prominent figures. The novel deals with many blunt themes, but Atwood weaves them in subtly and explores nuances to an extent that took me aback. Atwood's prose is mostly beautiful, but occasionally falls into overwriting and the physical description that goes into the novel goes into detail that can be a little pointless. Couple that with the mono-atmosphere of crushing oppression, and I found I could never quite outright enjoy the novel. Not that I regret reading it - it's a remarkable, possibly brilliant novel.

The main event:

10. Nymphomation by Jeff Noon

Nymphomation is the fourth of Noon's novels and serves as a direct prequel to Vurt, but also a sort-of sequel to Automated Alice. By my reckoning it's the closest he's come to reaching the heights of Vurt. Filled with ideas, Vurt tells a story of experimentation and blends reality, computation and the altered perception that made him famous. It has one hell of a finale.

9. Weaveworld by Clive Barker

Weaveworld is an unwieldy, uneven creature. Frequent resets are put on the story, and what is meant to be downtime deflates the story's momentum. It's tone is also a little off - sometimes it's too grotesque and horror-y to really work with some of the fairy tale fantasy style. Nonetheless, this epic is filled with great set-pieces and ideas, and tells a story that builds brilliantly. It's most comparable to a full TV series than anything else.

8. The Sirens of Titan

SoT has a very different feel to it than any of the other Vonnegut books I've read - there's a Douglas Adams quality to the story. It's got some great ideas, some curious narrative choices and at times is a bit fractured. There's a curious pathos to the book too, and somehow the novel manages to draw it's scattered strands together.

7. The Builders by Daniel Polansky

Goddamn, this was fun.

6. The Angelmaker by Nick Harkaway

The Angelmaker was my first venture into the fiction of Nick Harkaway, and hoo boy. This novel was most of the genres. It was a wacky overstuffed action drama, a comic book and a hollywood movie, a superspy gangster flick, filled with fantastical trappings and sci-fi ideas. Larger than life characters. Early I mentioned the set-pieces in Weaveworld, but this novel is pretty much the king of set pieces. It was let down, however, by structural issues - don't expect the central plot to actually start moving until roughly 450 pages in.

5. Blue Beard by Kurt Vonnegut

This year was year of Vonnegut for me, as I read seven of his novels. Blue Beard stands out as the only one which is not generally underpinned by cynicism about life in general, although it's not free from pot shots at the culture of the rich. It's a down to earth novel, no structural tricks or fantastical ideas. It's the story of an Armenia-American artist who keeps to himself, and what happens when people start imposing themselves on his life. Has one hell of an ending.


4. After Dark by Haruki Murakami

After Dark takes place in one night, as a young woman and a young man meet in a cafe. This off-beat story is sinister at times and gritty at times, but filled with heart and novelty. Murakami creates a real sense of Murakami-ness without dipping into the casually fantastical, and the comparative length of the story is a good fit I think. There's just enough story told, and just a hint of resolution - but in this well-crafted tale, that hint is enough.

3. Annihilation by Jeff Vandermeer

Area X is a creation of incredible power, heavy and suffocating, but beautiful and wonderous. The biologist, too, makes a main character who fits the story brilliantly. She's distant and cold, and as the reader you definitely can't trust her. This a novel that really should have commanded the number one spot, and yet...

(Notice that the sequels aren't on this list).

2. Nation by Terry Pratchett

So this might be my favourite Pratchett book. Full of heart, anger and humour, Pratchett has created a story here where the little things are the king. It's a triumph of small heroism, and he creates characters that are a joy to spend time with. Not that it lacks ideas, or that it doesn't have big moments. Nation is a coming of age story that traverses ideas and emotions whilst keeping the focus tight. Pratchett's writing is as brilliant as it always was.

1. The Gone-Away World by Nick Harkaway

The Gone-Away World is an incredible romp, similarly filled with ideas and wit and tragedy to The Angelmaker, but a little bit less bombastic. The trade-off is that the structure of the story makes sense and the focus on characterisation is a lot stronger. Not to mention it has, hands down, the best will-they-or-won't-they I've ever come across. It's a twisty and turn-y adventure, with more ideas than you can shake a stick at. It's a glorious triumph.

British Politics

RE all this bullshit in the news about the SNP:

The Glories of Monster Rancher

My girlfriend and I have a terrible secret that I am prepared to share with the world. Think of this as a Wonderings Exclusive.

We're both big fans of the old Monster Rancher game.

As a youngster I was first acquainted with the brand through the anime. You remember it right? It was the one with the weird yellow eye with a tail and mouth. And a villain whose name probably made a lot more sense in Japanese.

Evil Moo, in all of his presumably-bovine glory

If I was a pedant, which I absolutely am, I would point out that this game is actually Monster Rancher 2. The ol' "not releasing a game in the West" trick those wacky Japanese love to pull. Them lovable mischief makers.

The artist formally known as 2 is a monster raising game of the "nurturing" sort, as I like to call it. Unlike your collect-athons - the Pokemons and Dragon Warrior Monsters of the world - Monster Rancher revolves around taking a monster and taking a lot of time and effort raising only one monster at a time. It combines the visceral action of battle with the heady thrills of parenthood.

So you have a monster. You feed the monster. You train the monster. You force it to fight in tournaments, even if it doesn't want to, because food doesn't buy itself dammit, and you want a nicer house. Then, upsettingly, one day it dies.

The beauty of the game is that the raising of the monster is a time consuming process that involves difficult decisions. It asks you to balance the well being of the monster with the need to push it hard enough that it becomes a killing machine of any worth, as such you form a fairly specific relationship with each monster. After a while it seems like they have their own personality.

The really unique part of the game is your ability to create monsters from whatever miscellaneous disk you have lying around your house. Being as well acquainted with the rich Monster Rancher lore, which I am sure you are, you'll remember that monsters could be extracted from ancient stone discs. The game allows you to take out the monster rancher disc and put in a CD or a non-DVD computer game or Playstation game, and then converts that into a monster. It adds an exploration element that can be fun and surprising. It can also be highly tedious too.

There's a surprisingly low level of cuteness in the game. The series mascot, Suezo, looks like a piece of Cronenbrug body horror that has been re-imagined by a crayon wielding five-year old. I suspect that Pikachu's job is safe for the moment. Maybe this is why it's but a dim 90s memory next to the continuing behemoth that is Pokemon, but I know which one I would choose.

Today in Football - 23/03/15

Greg Dyke has warned Premier League football is in danger of "having nothing to do with English people" as new proposals to limit the number of non-EU players are outlined by English football's governing body.

Having emerged ruddy-faced from Nigel Farage's local pub following a conference with an "adviser who would remain nameless", Dyke  also revealed plans to toughen the rules on home-grown talent in the latest proposals from its commission, which was set up in 2013 to improve the England team.

The Dyke-Farage commission has also proposed changes to work permit rules having highlighted flaws in the system.

The stricter work-permit rules, approved by the Home Office on Friday, will come into force from 1 May.

Under the proposals outlined by the FA on Monday:

• A player will have to have been registered with his club from birth - down from 18 - to qualify as 'home-grown'.
• The minimum number of home-grown players in a club's first-team squad of 25 will increase from eight to 25, phased over four years from 2016.

• At least two home-grown players must also be 'club-trained' players - defined as any player, irrespective of nationality, that has been registered for three years at their club from the age of 15.

• Only the best non-EU foreign players will be granted permission to play in England.

"We have to do this by negotiation with the different leagues and with the clubs - we have to convince them that this makes sense for English football," said Dyke, "English players for English jobs.

"And we are helped by Harry Kane in truth - we are helped by seeing a young kid come into the Spurs team and become the top scorer in English football. If he was Spanish, or maybe Welsh, people would already be saying he is better than Messi and Ronaldo combined!

"How many other Harry Kanes are around in the youth teams of Premier League clubs? It was almost by chance that Tim Sherwood became manager at Tottenham for a time and put him in the side - otherwise he would still be out on loan at Millwall or some other shitty backwater no mark."

Today in football - 22/03/15

Former Manchester United manager has described this season's Premier League as the "poorest he has seen "in a long time".

"Maybe we have talked up the Premier League more than we should," the 51-year-old Scot told BBC Radio 5 live. Sky, The BBC and pundits across the land have reacted with confusion, dismay and anger.

When found for comment, Sean Dyche was seen roaring from the roof of Turf Moor as a plane carrying Danny Ings receded into the Spanish sunset, a mixture of rage and sorrow palpable in his gravelly voice.

"So if we're to believe Moyes," reasoned one confused member of the public, "then there's no best league in the world. Which only makes sense if there are no leagues in the world, and that's bollocks."

Another member of the public added that he'd seen Scottish football before and not only did it exist, but it was worse than the Hindenburg Disaster.

Currently a petition is gaining momentum for Moyes' citizenship of the UK to be revoked. 

Moyes added that it is no shame to fail in a league as poor as that, and its qualities may be drastically improved by hiring a solid and experienced Scottish manager who would be doing just as well as that Dutch cunt if he had had as much money to spend.